Welcome to a new edition of the SWORD newsletter, a project devoted to exposing Ron DeSantis’s reign of terror in Florida and stopping him from taking that cruelty and corruption to the White House.
It’s been a few weeks since our last email, but we have two very valid excuses:
It’s crunch time at the Florida legislature, where Republicans have just a few weeks left to break their own record for most corporate giveaways and bigoted new laws. Some of the members of our shadowy organization are spending the homestretch in Tallahassee, lurking in the corners of the Capitol and waving posters of Donald Duck in drag in an attempt to distract GOP lawmakers and make the heads of Moms for Liberty activists explode like overstuffed crock-pots.
All of our spare time has been spent cheering on Ron DeSantis’s breathtaking self-implosion and mocking the very serious political reporters who’d hailed him as the next evolution of conservative rockstar just a few months ago.
There was never any doubt in our minds that Ronald Dion DeSantis would meltdown as soon as he became the focus of any kind of national spotlight. Having surrounded himself with sycophantic political advisers, the vanguard of the pervert intelligentsia, and the sort of guys who get kicked off Xbox Live under multiple gamer tags, it’s been years since DeSantis has had to field a real question, let alone hear any legitimate criticism of his horrible choices.
Uncomfortable and uninterested in human interactions that aren’t either transactional or opportunities to abuse a power imbalance, DeSantis has alienated enough people that there will be no shortage of anecdotes about his strange predilections and odd habits made available to inquiring journalists for as long as his presidential campaign sputters along.
Allowing himself to be triggered into screaming threats outside the Disney World parking lot is just the beginning. And we told you this would happen — check out the billboard we put outside the Governor’s Mansion in Tallahassee, all the way back in October.
You can help us play more high-profile pranks that humiliate DeSantis and other bigoted Republicans by donating to SWORD. It’ll be worth it, I promise.
Still, for all we viciously mock about DeSantis, the reality is he is still overseeing a burgeoning Christonationalist state where almost all abortions were just banned and corporations can now sue towns with impunity. Bills to screw renters even more are on the move, and the horrible immigration crackdown proposal still isnt quite dead yet.
There will be much more to come on SWORD this week — stay tuned!